[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
Welcome to Executive Success. I'm Lesley Everett and today we explore the choices, the habits, the leadership moves that shape extraordinary executives.
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Welcome to Executive Success where we explore what it really takes to lead with influence, credibility and impact at the highest levels. I'm your host, Lesley Everett, and today we're diving into what executive success truly means in a world where expertise alone is no longer enough.
Our guest today is Sean Wether. Sean's a globally respected leadership and business development coach who helps expert professionals transform into highly trusted advisors.
Sean has worked across finance, legal, SaaS and consulting sectors, supporting global organizations like EY, DLA, Piper and Dell Technologies.
Through his highly trusted advisor model, his Expert to Advisor Pro platform, and the G2S coaching system, Sean equips technically brilliant leaders to communicate with influence, build trust and win high value relationships without ever feeling salesy.
In this first segment, we're grounding the conversation around how executive success itself must be redefined, moving beyond expertise into trust, credibility and influence at the very top of organizations.
Sean, it's great to have you here today.
[00:01:43] Speaker B: Great to be here, Leslie.
[00:01:45] Speaker A: Now you've built a global reputation helping leaders become highly trusted advisors. How do you define executive success within that model?
[00:01:55] Speaker B: I think executive success within that model is the capacity of leaders to be able to look at the whole relationship side of leadership. So rather than just looking at their technical expertise, which is a lot of the work, they're grounded in the importance of the relationships they have both with internal stakeholders and, and external clients is really what drives executive success at that level. And the presence and as you would say, the brand that they have inside those particular ecosystems.
[00:02:22] Speaker A: Absolutely. So what you're saying is the relationships are so important internally as well as externally, which is where a lot of people focus in business are the external relationships. But the internal relationships are equally, if not more so important.
Is that accurate, would you say, in today's world?
[00:02:40] Speaker B: Yeah, I think so. In fact, I often talk about sales and leadership as being two sides of the same coin.
The only difference being in terms of sales, you're dealing with a set of external stakeholders that you have to make connections with, have great conversations with, understand their challenges, what's required to motivate and provide solutions to them. But if you take exactly the same skill set and bring it within the organization, that's also what leaders do. So they're looking to make connections, have great conversations, support their teams, and motivate internal stakeholders, if you will, to execute what needs to be done to make sure the business is successful?
[00:03:13] Speaker A: Absolutely. Are you seeing that being more and more challenging internally in corporates today and organizations today or less. So what are you seeing the trends as there?
[00:03:25] Speaker B: I think what I'm seeing at the moment obviously is with the growth of AI, people are beginning to appreciate the importance that what we once called soft skills skills are really becoming significantly more important now. So issues like eq, emotional quotient, social quotient, these sort of issues, the capacity to be able to relate or what I would say empathize, connect and influence with people are becoming much more important and much more recognized as the skill sets for leaders for the future.
[00:03:53] Speaker A: Yeah, I totally agree. What do you think? What behaviours do you think separate a really truly trusted advisor from, from a subject matter expert perhaps?
[00:04:04] Speaker B: I think the key thing is have they the capacity to be able to project and communicate the value that they offer to either an internal stakeholder or an external stakeholder? Over the years I've worked with lots of people who are engineers, accountants, lawyers, people who are tech and a lot of product heavy sales teams who are technically brilliant at what they do. But unfortunately they struggle with the capacity able to communicate the value of their technical expertise to an audience, be that an internal stakeholder audience within their organization or externally into the marketplace. And I think this is what's becoming such a critical skill set now. Because previously those leaders were able to rely on their expertise for their authority. But with AI rapidly approaching in that space, that no longer is really the key principle of leadership or authority or position or power. Expertise in that respect is less important as your capacity to build and maintain long term influential relationships.
[00:05:02] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a challenge. And I too have worked with technical audiences and engineering audiences and often they find it very challenging to promote themselves and see that the value isn't anything other than just the content or the wisdom or the expertise that they've built up. What do you think shifts the mindset most from believing that that technical expertise is all that's needed to actually looking at the EQ side of things as well?
[00:05:30] Speaker B: I think, you know, through the course of their career they begin to realize that the more senior they want to become in an organization, the more important the human skill sets are. So a lot of my work is working with people who are really successful technically, for example, lawyers or accountants who are moving up to senior associate legal director or director stage. And now the big shift for is it's no longer about whether you have the expertise to be a lawyer, an accountant, or whatever the case may be. It's can you now go out, build relationships, establish client portfolios, manage client relationships, and then manage your team and the relationships that are inherent in that space. So I think there's increasingly an earlier and earlier understanding. For example, I see that typically this kind of support that I would provide to people was kept a kind of the next stage to director or the next stage to partner. But it's actually, it's been pushed down the line a wee bit more now as people look that we really need to train all our people in the capacity to be able to connect, involve and engage and build empathy with people.
[00:06:32] Speaker A: Are you seeing more coaching like on the job with this as well? Rather than big training programs that some people feel uncomfortable with, Are you seeing there's a need for more individual help in this way for some leaders?
[00:06:46] Speaker B: Yeah, I think certainly at a senior level, one on one coaching is absolutely the best way to go with that on the basis that when you've got people who are already in positions where they're successful and they've gotten there because they're technically very good or they have the knowledge, they often feel a little vulnerable if they were to join like a traditional training program or whatever. So I think what's happening now is a mix of one to one coaching and also the work that we're now doing through our own platform, which is expert to Advisor Pro, which is a one to many process of really supporting leaders and generally business development teams as well, about what are the skill sets they need to thrive and survive in this hybrid and AI age? Really?
[00:07:29] Speaker A: Yeah, absolutely. Have you got an example of a leader you've worked with perhaps in a space where they don't feel comfortable seeing this shift that needs to be made. Is there an example you've got? Somebody's made a real difference through some intervention like you've just described?
[00:07:45] Speaker B: Yeah, I think like there was a case in point recently, which is very common by the way, it happens time and time again where the individual was at a certain level in the organization and he wanted to move up to the next level, which in this case was board level or a C suite level. And he was constantly frustrated that he was being overlooked in relation to being selected for that particular level of seniority within the organization. And then when we looked at what he was doing, he had a typical traditional mindset, happened to be an engineer in this particular case, that if I just do the job and I do the job well, someone will recognize me and I'll get promoted accordingly. And that has been very much the attitude that a Lot of accountants and lawyers and various other people who are expert at their job assume will happen if I'm just really good at what I do and I'll get noticed and I'll get promoted, but that is not what happens. The only way that you move up to levels like that is where you can demonstrably show that you built relationships with people. You've got good internal networks, you've got a good stakeholder map operating. You show commercial awareness and you're prepared to go and speak with clients or build a client portfolio or at least willing to get out there and network or step up and start doing presentations to build your brand and your executive presence and how you recognize and known. So eventually he began to appreciate the importance of the relationship piece over and above just a simple expertise. So we went through many different skill sets. I mean everything from networking, to be able to speak publicly at conferences, to meeting management skills and productivity skills. There was a lot of things that needed to be honed around him to really have him fit for purpose. And actually the last I heard he was meeting with the C suite to have a conversation, but the next stage in the journey. So fingers crossed. Yeah.
[00:09:36] Speaker A: Amazing. And do you find that. I certainly find that with somebody who struggles with that, to give them a structure and a purpose and the why behind we need to make these shifts really makes the difference to them. They can see it's that light bulb moment. All right, if I do this, that's what I'm going to get as an end result because often they're very solution driven, obviously. So if you can see that, I find that that makes a difference. What do you think is one, one thing that these, that anybody can do, can do to project more credibility and authority in the room?
[00:10:12] Speaker B: I think if I was to teach a singular skill to many of the leaders that we have right across various borders today, it will be the art of questioning skills. So the capacity and willingness to ask more questions and to, as they say, not, not, not ask a question and then listen, waiting to put in the next thing you want to put in, but to actually really hear what people are saying to you and then use a mixture of questions and suggestions to really guide people to where you want them to go and support them in terms of willingly being a part of that process as opposed to the old fashioned sort of command and control style of approach. So traditional expertise based leadership was very much command and control. I am, I have the knowledge, I'm the boss, you do what I tell you to do. That is very hard to maintain in a distributed, remote environment where AI is increasing all the time. It's not saying that command and control leadership doesn't have a place. So, for example, someone's new to an organization, has no skill set, no cultural understanding. They have to be told what to do. If someone is preparing to leave an organization and their motivation's poor, they kind of have to be told what to do. But right in the middle is really what the modern leadership element is, which is coaching support.
[00:11:23] Speaker A: Yeah, got it. So curiosity as well is a great thing.
Just very briefly, when you look at how does trust accelerate, perhaps decision making? Have you seen that? Just briefly before we go into the next break.
[00:11:39] Speaker B: So how does trust accelerate decision making? I think because predominantly where trust exists, you remove any perceived threat in any situational relationship. Often where people, where something has been proposed and it's new and it's challenging, there's a degree of perceived threat about what's the potential negative consequences of this? But if you're able to build trust, or in my case, what I call high trust, is beyond just simple trust, a situation where there's no hesitation, no reservation between you and other people. Everything's on the table. It minimizes perceived threat and gets more collaboration.
[00:12:11] Speaker A: Makes perfect sense. Okay, we're going to be right back. When we come, when we come back, we're going to explore how communication is perhaps even more important than competence when we truly need to hold influence at executive level. We'll be right back with more strategies, stories and steps to help you level up as a leader.
This is Executive Success on NOW Media Television.
Every executive faces challenges, but not every executive learns to turn them into breakthroughs. I'm Lesley Everett, and on Executive Success, we bring you insights, strategy stories from leaders who have built remarkable careers.
We'll dig into executive branding, communication, leadership mindset, team dynamics, and how to navigate pivotal moments in your executive journey.
Catch Executive Success weekly on NOW Media Television, your front row seat to leadership mastery.
Lead with clarity, grow with purpose, achieve with integrity.
And we're back. I'm Leslie Everett and you're watching Executive Success on NOW Media Television. Let's continue building your executive edge.
Welcome back to Executive Success.
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Welcome back to Executive Success. We're joined by Shaun Weaver today. And in this segment we're focusing on how communication, not competence, is often the deciding factor in executive influence, credibility and trust.
Even the strongest ideas lose power when communication lacks clarity. Presence, authority, misalignment, misinterpretation and weak value projection can quietly undermine otherwise exceptional leadership.
You emphasize communications and value projection, Sean, and habits that define a high trust, high impact leader today. Can you expand on that?
[00:14:51] Speaker B: Yeah, I think we can see traditionally a lot of situations where people who maybe have not the same level of depth or expertise of others tended to get promoted above them, which is a deeply frustrating thing for a lot of people who are very good technically. But really the difference is that those who get promoted are those who have the capacity to be able to communicate their value, to build relationships, to network and to be able to speak at all of those are EQ skills, all of those are people skills.
And I think increasingly, as we said perhaps the last time, with the advent of AI, that capacity, the competence level, the degree of expertise that you need to have, will actually probably diminish to a certain extent.
And what will become more important will be the human aspect of it. So if you might say, all organizations going forward will be human led and tech enabled.
[00:15:39] Speaker A: Yes. It's building that personality into the relationship you have and into the corporate brand that you represent as well. And I know some of those things are probably scary for a lot of people. I've got to communicate more and my presentation skills have got to be more elevated, more spot on. I can't sit behind the screen anymore. AI is there. But as you say, I totally agree that there's even more of a need for that human interaction, a human piece. If you think about hybrid and global environments, what does genuine executive presence look like, do you think and connection look like in those hybrid global environments?
[00:16:19] Speaker B: I think how you can project executive presence in a hybrid and remote environment has been very aware of the fact that leadership in those environments is no longer a about command and control. You can't dictate what you need to happen. It's very much about building what I term the values of a highly trusted advisor, which is collaboration, co creation and shared ownership. The more shared ownership you can build in with the team that you're leading or that you're managing, the more you get them involved in the proposal, the presentation of the project, far more powerful the outcomes are going to be. And far higher will be the levels of motivation and the degree of respect and recognition that you get for the work that you do. So that is really the key element now is can you build collaborative and co creative relationships. And that's all about the EQ side. It's all about questioning and all the other skills we've talked about already.
[00:17:06] Speaker A: And often that building collaboration comes from internally to start with. I know over the years when I've worked with organizations where they'll say, well, you know, how we communicate inside is not how we communicate externally. And my argument always is, well, actually it does spill over to the external world. So if things aren't good internally in terms of culture and collaboration and communication, that can spill over. Do you find that some leaders really struggle with building that collaboration within their team? And what's one really good tip you often give them?
[00:17:39] Speaker B: I think the key element is to treat your team like you treat a client.
Right. If you think about a situation now, particularly when you work with organizations or people that are contracted in, maybe there's an element of the gig economy involved people you're working with, if you deal with them like they're a client, I mean they're effectively offering you services, not just a supplier. They're there. They're there because they want to be there, they want to be motivated, they want to be focused, they're willing to make those things. But your attitude toward them has to be less about their human resource and more that they're a value added client to my business because they provide services, support and assistance to me to help them deliver for the clients to pay the income. So I think a lot of it is very much about that mutually respectful relationships. One has to bear in mind and to remember that leadership is no longer hierarchical. Leadership today is about service. Leadership today is about facilitation. Leadership today, as I said earlier, is about co creation. So the quality of those relationships need to be very strong. And that's the area that I would encourage any leader to focus on, including just in relation to your last point, those who consider themselves introverted, because many of them don't think they can do that. But the reality is introverts are excellent in that because they make room for other people, which extrovert leaders don't tend to do.
[00:18:56] Speaker A: That's an excellent point. And I guess even mentioning that point to introverts actually makes a massive difference to how they feel about how they can influence as well. So how do you think you know? Well, how do you know when A leader has actually created that right environment, that safe environment for people to collaborate effectively. Is there something that tells you, yeah, we've cracked this, this is working well.
[00:19:21] Speaker B: Apart from the obvious that projects are moving forward and plans have been accomplished and there's a systematic regular meeting engagement. And you can see progression through each of those. Just the basic morale, the sort of belief in the team of their capability and the level of bonding that happens in the team. You also see that going up as well because they do appreciate that there's no levels of threat here when it comes to being led. There's no sort of negative aspect to this. It's all about encouragement, it's all about support. And if you're failing, and this is a really important point, that there should be a significant belief within the team that if I'm having a problem, I can't actually talk to my leader without feeling of being assessed or downgraded or in any way ridiculed, that really the leader is there to support me, to be the best I can be at all times. And I think that's really the shift. We've moved from positions of authority to positions of facilitation and of service to others. That's the key.
[00:20:18] Speaker A: Yeah, I agree. And when I've seen that operate, it's hugely powerful in a team where there is that trust and psychological safety to be able to feedback when things aren't right, collaborate, come up with creative ideas to be curious and ask the questions. And you kind of see it happening when that collaboration aspect's there. When you're thinking about leaders influencing with high level senior stakeholders, what do you see are the major pitfalls that they often still fall into?
[00:20:51] Speaker B: I think the biggest pitfall is they're me focused as opposed to organization focused. So the more concerned that they come across looking good, the more concerned they project their knowledge as opposed to being focused on the value that they're offering to the wider organization. So I think very much the focus is you are not the be all and the end all really. When you speak about things, you need to speak about the company. You need to speak about the people around you. You need to speak about how you, how you support them and how by supporting them the company will accomplish its objectives. I think very much in today's world because we're increasingly becoming more relevant around this. As I said, human led and tech enabled environment.
If you're seen to be selfish, that's very, very obvious and people will just disengage. Whereas if you're focused on being Generous and supporting there and being of service to people. People will absolutely engage with you. And not only will they engage with you, but your reputation and your brand will precede you everywhere you go.
[00:21:48] Speaker A: Yeah, I totally agree. So it's getting away from me as a leader and thinking about that old adage where as a leader, what I'm. What my aim is, is to create more leaders, not more followers. And to think about creating that. That environment where people themselves can lead and being that role model. So less about me, more about the team and perhaps the overall business objective. Why are we doing this? And we still see leaders, I'm sure, that fall into both categories as the little way to go. How can leaders communicate perhaps authority without dominance, especially in high stakes situations?
[00:22:26] Speaker B: I think that's a very good question. How do you project authority without dominance? I think there's a difference between dominance and assertiveness.
So dominance is where I want to dictate to you what the solution should be. Assertiveness is where I make a point and I can justify and back up that point and I hold firm to the point that I want to make. So it's very important to understand the difference between being dominating or potentially looking for confrontational or my ways, the highway type situation, as opposed to putting forward a point which you can justify, which you can back up and which has value and which you're firm in your belief about. There's a huge difference between potential dominance versus being assertive. And the truth is that somebody who's assertive and firm about their beliefs and can justify it is significantly stronger than somebody who simply wants to attempt to dominate a meeting by virtue of their status, their authority or their personality.
[00:23:16] Speaker A: Yeah, it's a skill in its own right, isn't it? It's probably one of the toughest things for leaders to learn, especially when things aren't going well.
We need to get moving, we need to get the results. So I find that something that crops up a lot in the coaching that I do particularly.
What's one practical change that you think executives could perhaps make immediately to increase trust and engagement when they're speaking, when they're present.
[00:23:43] Speaker B: So actually in an actual presentation, how are they looking to build trust? Is that the question?
[00:23:46] Speaker A: Yeah, it could be a small group and a team, but yeah, when they're getting across a message, yeah, I think.
[00:23:52] Speaker B: The simple thing is to use a very simple technique called forced teaming, which is psychological term. And all that simply means that instead of talking about you and I, we talk about we and us.
Because as soon as we use that kind of language, we and us in the conversation, the people you're talking to automatically assume they're part of a team, that this relates to us. We're talking about this together.
I think a leader really talks about me and I really is only just focused on themselves, whereas a leader talks about we. And us is automatically creating by the power of language alone a constant, safe environment, an environment where people feel included and an environment where people are more willing to listen.
[00:24:29] Speaker A: Excellent. Yeah, yeah. It's all about the environment that's being created. Absolutely. I totally agree with that, Sean. Just for leaders who want to deepen the work that they're doing and want to learn more about High Trust Advisor, how can they get in touch with you and how do they learn more about your programs briefly?
[00:24:49] Speaker B: Well, simply go to my website, which is Seanweifer.com or they can go and get my book, the Highly trusted advisor from Amazon.com as well. It's a good place to start.
[00:25:01] Speaker A: Perfect. Thank you.
Right, up next, we're going to shift into the human side of high performance.
An interesting topic and why presence and emotional intelligence are no longer optional at executive level.
We'll be right back with more strategies, stories and steps to help you level up as a leader. This is Executive Success on NOW Media Television.
Every executive faces challenges, but not every executive learns to turn them into breakthroughs. I'm Lesley Everett, and on Executive Success, we bring you insights, strategy stories from leaders who have built remarkable careers.
We'll dig into executive branding, communication, leadership mindset, team dynamics, and how to navigate pivotal moments in your executive journey.
Catch Executive Success weekly on NOW Media Television, your front row seat to leadership mastery.
Lead with clarity, grow with purpose, achieve with integrity.
And we're back. I'm Lesley Everett, and you're watching Executive Success on NOW Media Television. Let's continue building your executive edge.
Welcome back to Executive Success.
As expectations rise and pressure increases, many executives find that technical brilliance alone no longer sustains performance, trust, or energy over time.
Many leaders are technically brilliant. What human core skills, Sean, do you believe executive development most often overlooks?
[00:26:43] Speaker B: I think to be honest, it's just the simple skills of interpersonal relationships, advanced questioning, language skills, public speaking, really, really powerful, and networking. There's. There's a simple understanding. People think networking is just one level away from going out there and pitching who you are and what you do. I think when you learn about networking, you appreciate the purpose of networking is not to try and sell yourself into the room and try and get a cup of coffee afterwards. An opportunity to start a relationship.
People start to realize that all of these interpersonal skills that were kind of add ons to their technical training or their medical training or accounting or legal training, whatever, are really the core skills of what it takes to succeed as a leader in today's world. In fact, the higher up an organization you go, the less important your technical skills become and the more important your people skills become.
[00:27:33] Speaker A: Yeah, something. I'm glad you mentioned that because it's something that I find a lot is executives and senior leaders making time to make those connections. Whether that's a virtual coffee, whether it's meeting face to face to face or even connecting on social media and LinkedIn, they don't see it as something that's important. And it's something that I always try and hold them accountable to. Just having a benchmark of maybe two or three new connections a week, having that virtual coffee for 20 minutes with people reaching out and doing that and seeing the higher purpose of that. They see it as something, oh yeah, well, I've got to do it. Everybody tells me I've got to do it. I don't really see the point. But making the relevance of this is absolutely essential. The more senior you get, and we know, you and I know in the work that we do, the connections that we've built over the years have been so powerful and actually get you to where you want to be. It's as. It's as powerful as that. So I'm glad you mentioned that.
When you think about what does real accountability look like for leaders, I mentioned accountability then, who want to scale impact, excuse me, without burning themselves out. How do you find that? It's the. How do you find that your clients find it easiest to hold themselves accountable or do they still struggle with it?
[00:28:47] Speaker B: I think when we talk about accountability in relation to, there's two elements of accountability. Accountability in terms of getting someone to hold themselves accountable to you, and then there's your own accountability as a leader. And I think the key thing is if you're a leader who understands the power of coaching and understands the power of service engagement and collaboration, it's very easy to hold people accountable because what you do is you work with them to help them come to the answer about what they're going to do and, and then effectively by then coming up with the answer, they've committed to doing that action. So it's a whole lot easier to hold them accountable. I think as far as holding yourself accountable, I think the key thing is really the concept of integrity and Integrity in business is such a key skill and particularly for leaders. And really what integrity means for leaders or indeed anybody in an organization is really to do what you say you will do when you'll say you'll do it.
And if for any reason you can't get it done, then maintain open lines of communication and give them due and timely warning that it's not going to get done by a certain date and renegotiate. But fundamentally, integrity is about doing what you set and accountability. It's holding yourself accountable and by doing what you say you'll do when you'll say you'll do it. Now, some of the hugely helpful in that process is having an external voice, a sounding board, a person with knowledge and capabilities such as yourself, Leslie or myself, when it comes to building systems and methodologies about and providing skill sets and reflective time to make sure they can deliver on that as well. And that's using an external coach like.
[00:30:12] Speaker A: You or I.
Yeah, it's one of the things that I think they really struggle with, with time and pressure is actually holding themselves accountable to that and believing that there's an output at the end that makes them a better leader. And it's something that I remember you saying to me a long time ago about setting that clear objective that's got purpose and what does it give me, even though it's not really about me, but what is the driver in me that I need to fulfill? What's that motivation for me personally? Because we all have to have a personal motivation, whatever that might be, in order to achieve the goals that we set out to. Is that a technique that you use with leaders a lot?
[00:30:56] Speaker B: Yeah, I always use that topic I talk about what is the corporate objective? What do we need to do to be a leader, to be successful in my job, so I'm assessed accordingly. But the other aspect of a really good goal is not just the what, but it's the why. And the why is always the personal agenda. It's why is this a value to me? What will I have that I don't have right now when I make this happen? Now a lot of, a lot of people get confused about that because they think, well, it's very selfish. But it's not about being selfish, it's about being self centered. It's understanding what the motivator, what the driver is to get you out of bed at 6am in the morning to do what you got to do to deliver for the company and what comes to you and what comes to your family, what comes to Your environment.
When you've done that successfully. Everybody has a personal agenda. There's nothing wrong with aligning your personal agenda with your business objectives. If you can do that for your staff members, I guarantee you will have a self motivated, self focused and self accountable team.
[00:31:52] Speaker A: That's great advice. That really is great advice. And it's really why New Year's resolutions don't really work, isn't it? Because we never get to the reason why we want to to do something. So if the doctor says you've got to lose weight, otherwise you're going to have serious health problems in six months time, that's a real driver. We've got to we do something about it at that point because that's the output that's the driver to make me do it. The consequences of not doing it are way too uncomfortable to deal with. And I spend a lot of time with clients getting clarity on that for sure and then having a structure to address the actions that need to be put in place for that. So it all leads up to accountability and why I'm doing something. And I think that whole process of articulating the clear objective of why and what's in it for me is, I mean, you know more about the brain than I do in the work that you do. But the brain then starts to believe this is, this is me, this is what's happening and therefore the results come. Do you find that often is the case when you work with clients?
[00:32:55] Speaker B: Yeah, I think it's very important. I think what's important when it comes to good coaching, goal setting is that you understand what the what is. This is what I want to accomplish. You work out what the why is. In other words, what do I get as a result of that actually happening? Which is always a personal why, but it's to understand a really simple psychological premise which is that expectations drive behaviors. So when you've set an expectation, you powered it with emotion and that's what drives behaviors to make it happen at the end of the day.
And once you've got a very clear little checklist which is ideal for people who work from expertise and a process to get there and someone to help you hold yourself accountable to that, you're guaranteed success every time.
[00:33:36] Speaker A: Yeah, I love that. I think that's this is a really important content there for leaders to be listening to. And I really hope that some of our viewers are taking notes right as you speak because there's some high value there that can change their perspective and make their life an awful lot easier. I agree how do emotional intelligence and influence intersect, do you think, in, in high pressure leadership environments?
[00:34:02] Speaker B: Well, when you're dealing with emotional intelligence and social intelligence, there's. The two are different. Emotional intelligence fundamentally has to do with checking in with yourself. Social intelligence has to do how you checking in with others. So really influence is very much about how your words, how your actions, how your behaviors are influencing others. So a lot of it is a level of awareness and being able to recalibrate your message, your communication, depending on the feedback you're getting back from the people listening to your message, whether that's a one to one type situation or whether it's a one to many situation. So a key aspect of influence is the capacity to be able to read the room, read the audience, read the person you're speaking to, and then adapt, adjust and be flexible in your form of communication, with messaging, or your outcome, even sometimes in order to get them on board. Influence is when you get people to agree with you, to support you and to collaborate with you. And any good leader should be focused on making that happen because that's what builds strong organizations where it's built on consensus rather than dictation or dominance, as you said earlier.
[00:35:02] Speaker A: Yeah. And does empathy play quite a high part in that as well, in understanding what's going on in the lives of people that work with us, not just their day to day work?
[00:35:14] Speaker B: I think empathy is a superpower, there's no question about that, because empathy gives you that capacity to be able to perceive where a person's at at any given time.
That said, from a leadership perspective, you need to be careful that you're not over empathizing, if you will, because I mean, there may be issues going on in people's lives which have absolutely nothing to do with you or what you're trying to accomplish or where you need to go. Now that said, it might be appropriate that if someone's particularly difficult situation that you might suggest, well, maybe you need to take some vacation time or some leave time to resolve the issue and then come back. But obviously it doesn't mean that a leader needs to get involved in the individual personal lives of the people they're leading. But some sense of empathy, feeling understanding, sympathy and willingness to be flexible is a really key part to how well a leader is perceived in terms of how he, she or they supports their team or their individual team members.
[00:36:09] Speaker A: Yeah, and it's a, as you say, it's a skill, it's a superpower in its own right and getting the balance right and knowing when to step back when not to get too involved. And I think the environment that we're in now, there's a lot of pressure on leaders to recognize well being and mental health with their teams and empathy is a key part of that. But we've got to be careful how far to go with that. And I believe that that's a real struggle for a lot of leaders. Does that come up quite a lot in your work?
[00:36:39] Speaker B: Yeah, it's really what comes up in the work is if I think so. One of the things I do is I will also train leaders in coaching skills how to be successful in terms of service based leadership.
And I think the biggest fear is that, well, look, if I get this close to people, am I going to get stuff thrown at me that I can't handle? You know, am I going to end up being some kind of counselor for people? And I make it very clear to them that look, what happens if you're a really good leader is what we call transference.
So people will look to you, they'll, they'll engage with you, they'll open up with you. They won't have any barriers to keep communicating with you. They may then, depending on the quality of the relationship, share stuff with you. It is entirely up to you to know the difference between when this is appropriate for you to engage and when it's appropriate for you to maybe refer them to an employment assistant, professional or a counselor or someone that they need to deal with this issue externally because it's a personal issue rather than a professional issue. So it's understanding that if you do this, but the chances of something that that happen are so, so small, so small that it's very, very, very unlikely in your entire career it'll ever happen.
But that is one of the big concerns that they have sometimes.
[00:37:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I see it a lot and I think the work you do in that area is really important. The leaders really do need it. So we'll be right back. We're coming up. Coming up, we're going to look ahead into reinvention, wisdom and what the future demands of tomorrow's trusted advisors and executive leaders.
We'll be right back with more strategies, stories and steps to help you level up as a leader. This is executive Success on NOW Media Television.
Every executive faces challenges, but not every executive learns to turn them into breakthroughs. I'm Lesley Everett and on Executive Success we bring you insights, strategies, stories from leaders who have built remarkable careers.
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Welcome back to Executive Success and this closing segment with Shaun. We're going to be stepping back to look at the deeper wisdom behind leadership reinvention and what will define the future of highly trusted advisors in an era of constant disruption.
Now, Sean, your background blends engineering, merchant navy discipline, psychotherapy, hypnotherapy and Celtic wisdom, which I love. So how has this shaped your, your leadership philosophy, do you think?
[00:40:30] Speaker B: I think really what it's done, if you look at it from a meta perspective, I look at sort of a view from above. I've moved from a very masculine perspective of the world. So merchant naval officer, engineering training, very logical, very sequential, very disciplined kind of environment.
Then through training as a therapist and hypnotherapist and so on, and definitely my study of Celtic spirituality or just spirituality in general, I've moved from the belief that masculine based models of leadership are no longer really what matters in today's world and that we move much more towards a feminine based model of leadership.
And here's the thing, it's not that we, we're moving to one at the exclusion of the other, that really successful leadership is where we can blend masculine values and principles with feminine values and principles. Now, it's very important to understand when I talk about this, I'm not talking about genders, I'm talking about energies. I'm talking about values. I'm talking about principles.
You've mentioned my book, the Highly Trusted Advisor. I wrote another book called Invoking the Feminine Strength, Love and Wisdom, which is a little sort of a spiritual story, but it covers this concept of these strong feminine principles that we need to embrace in modern society in order to regain balance in leadership in society. And I believe if we can do that in business leadership and then that will project out into political leadership, social leadership, and we can start to create a balanced society that recognizes and values both aspects of what it means to be human.
[00:41:58] Speaker A: So it's a very holistic approach that you bring with all of those disciplines that you've had in your, your leadership career. And I would really emphasize the need to read that. The feminine advantage. Did you say the feminine. What's the book?
[00:42:11] Speaker B: Oh, it's called Invoke, it's called Invoking the Feminine Strength, Love and Wisdom. So it's just a small book, you could do it over coffee.
[00:42:19] Speaker A: Yeah, yeah, it's a great book. I haven't read it for a few years and I'd like to read it again. But I think right now in the world we're in, in business, it's vitally important. So I'd really suggest people do read that.
Tell me about the concepts of martial arts and ancient wisdom. How do they show up in a modern executive environment, do you think, in terms of effectiveness?
[00:42:41] Speaker B: I think increasingly people are beginning to realize some fundamental principles about existence. I mean, you mentioned martial arts and as you know, I spent 20 odd years training in martial arts as well. And if you bring that concept of martial arts and nature, wisdom, martial art, if you like, is very much the external projection of internal wisdom. And it's the fundamental wisdom is this concept of always being in balance. So martial arts teach you timing, distance and balance. How to remain in balance while you take the balance from somebody else. And if you look at that as a metaphor, any business that is unbalanced will fail.
Or any organization or any country, any nation that is unbalanced will eventually fail. But a nation or a country or a business or a team that, that strives towards balance is one that will be consistently successful and will be there for the long term. Of course you have to realize it's an active balance. Sometimes, you know, the good stuff wins, sometimes the bad stuff wins. But it's constantly moving in order to retain one's balance. And I think, as I said myself, and what comes a lot from a lot of my spiritual training is that perfection is a myth. You know, we don't, we shouldn't look for perfection in leadership or business, but progress is the mission and that's fundamentally what it should all be about.
[00:43:54] Speaker A: Fascinating. I'd love to talk to you even more about that whole balance thing. With those aspects in mind, maybe we do a follow up interview just on that. I'm seeing that the executive world, the business World is opening up to more of those types of principles. Now, they weren't ready necessarily five, six years ago even, but I think now in recent years, they are opening up more to what else is there out there to help me to. To lead more, more effectively. So, having reinvented yourself across industries, what's taught, what's that taught you about resilience and leadership identity, do you think?
[00:44:29] Speaker B: I think the key thing is resilience. You are going to face tough times. Resilience is about how you respond to that.
And I think, you know, you're never going to have a life that's always perfect. And nor should you. Because any form of personal growth, individual growth, spiritual growth, is based on the fact that you would be challenged to prove yourself worthy of the value that comes if you break through that particular challenge. So resilience is very much about your mindset. It's about, do you embrace it, do you accept it, do you roll with the punches, do you move, do you find a way around the problem so you continue to move forward? I mean, there was a great movie motivational talk from Rocky at one point, Sylvester Stallone talking to his son about, you know, life. Nothing's going to hit you harder than life, you know, but the key is, can you get up? Can you keep moving forward? And that's the essential essence of resilience. Keep moving forward. Remember, perfection is a myth. Progress is the mission.
[00:45:26] Speaker A: Absolutely. What do you think you need to let go of when it comes to resilience? If you think about the resilience, which seems to be more and more difficult than ever, more and more pressure, what do leaders need to let go of to focus more on resilience. Do you think? Is there anything?
[00:45:41] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely. They need to let go of the concept of having to be perfect.
You know, they have to lose the sense that because they're a leader, because they're a CEO, because they're a C suite, they're somehow supposed to be some godlike creature. You're human.
Human means infallibility. Human means being imperfect. Human means learning from that imperfection.
Don't beat yourself up so often. Be gentle with yourself. You'll make mistakes. Acknowledge the mistake. Accept the mistake and learn from the mistake. That's the key. What have you learned once you have? My old mentor, Dr. Dennis Whiteley, a fantastic American speaker and author, always said there's no such thing as failure, only feedback.
And so if you've only got feedback and success, it's not a bad thing. But you need to be willing to accept that we're not infallible. Let it go. Forget about perfection. Focus on progress.
[00:46:33] Speaker A: Let's see what we've learned from it. Yeah. When I bring on a lot of executive leaders onto this show, a question I'll often ask them is a time where they've really messed up. What did they do to recover from that? What did they learn from that? How does that now feed into their leadership style and direction right now? And it's fascinating when you can get executive leaders, as you will know, to open up to some of those challenges and mistakes that they, they made. Not always easy. I remember working for a bank in Poland once and they had a panel of executive leaders that were following my presentation on, at this conference and I was in on their prep session and I said, I think you're missing something here. I think you need to be asking these leaders on stage on this panel when it. Look, when we're looking at their careers, where do they mess up? Where did you make a wrong decision? What did you do that you really aren't proud of? What did you do to recover? Because we can learn from that. And they wouldn't do it. They resisted it. This is about 10 years ago. And I think they missed a massive opportunity for that vulnerability to come through. And it's not a straight path to leadership. We do.
[00:47:38] Speaker B: I think it's hard to be vulnerable when you're in an environment that's constantly judging you. And particularly if you're dealing with Eastern Europe, which is coming out of their history as well. It's a lot harder even in that part of the world than it is even in the rest of the west now in terms of being able to acknowledge that. It's hard to acknowledge you made a mistake. It's hard. But I think where the resilience come from, the strength comes from, is that, yeah, I made a mistake, but this is what I've learned and this is what we're going to do differently now.
[00:48:05] Speaker A: Yeah, it's vitally important and a lot of people find that very tough. And they'll still twist it a little bit to be the environment or not themselves. And that's, you know, that's where true authenticity, authenticity comes through. And I think the brand, the leadership brand is built from. And what signals are you seeing that point to the next major shift in executive capability and organizational culture?
[00:48:30] Speaker B: Well, I spoke at a conference recently on the fourth generation revolution, which was all about artificial intelligence.
And I think really just to go back to the very start of our conversation, Leslie, what I'm Seeing is a much greater appreciation for the need for human contact, a much greater appreciation for the need for human skills. Human to human skills will absolutely define leadership and the capability of leaders as we go forward into the years to come, no question. And what was once considered as sort of a sideline, a bit of soft skills training to go with all the other stuff, will now become the preeminent form of skill sets that leaders will have to be immersed in if they expect to run successful organizations moving into the future.
[00:49:11] Speaker A: Yeah, soft skills has always been important. It's always been there and it's become, you know, I hear organizations say over the years it's been this is the most important aspect. But they've never, it's been a little bit of lip service paid to that. But now it's really not optional, is it? It's absolutely critical to have our leaders lead teams and create teams that follow that. So in an era of AI and hybrid work and constant change, what will define the future? Do you think of the highly trusted advisor as a leader?
[00:49:42] Speaker B: I think the actual response to that is in the name. So I talk about the difference between trust and light trust, which I think I might have mentioned briefly before. But many of us have relationships with people that we know and that we like and we trust, but we don't share everything with them. And then we have relationships with people where there's such a high degree of trust that, you know, there is no reservation, no hesitation, no limitation. We put everything on the table. We share it with them, they share with us. That is what will define true leadership and effective business development going into the next number of years, particularly with the advent of AI.
[00:50:15] Speaker A: I think leaders are going to have to reach out more for this kind of support and help because it's an area that they often don't feel comfortable in. They don't know how to measure it, they don't know how well they're performing. I always encourage a high degree of feedback from teams and open feedback. But I do think moving forwards we're going to see a lot more need for leaders to have the support as they move into this area of being trusted at all levels, from below, sideways and up. So the work that you do is fantastic in that respect. Sean, this has been incredibly valuable. Just remind people where they can find you if they want to find out more.
[00:50:55] Speaker B: If they want to find out more, just go to my website, which is Sean Weifer, W E A F E R or to go to Amazon if you want and check out the highly trusted advisor how to lead teams and win clients in the hybrid age. Or, as we also mentioned, invoking the feminine strength, love and wisdom.
[00:51:14] Speaker A: Sean, thank you for bringing such clarity, depth and wisdom to the conversation today. It's really appreciated. What stands out is that executive success is no longer about knowing more, it's about being trusted more.
From redefining influence to mastering communication to leading with presence and purpose, you've given our audience a powerful roadmap for sustainable leadership. So thank you very much for that.
To our viewers, ask yourself, are you simply an expert, or are you becoming a trusted advisor?
Until next time, I'm Lesley Everett, and this is Executive Success.
